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Streaming Goop

“We’re human beings and the Sun is the Sun—how can it be bad for you?” Gwyneth Paltrow once mused to the UK’s Cosmopolitan. “I don’t think anything that’s natural can be bad for you.” So, it’s probably a good thing that her new Netflix show, The Goop Lab, begins with a disclaimer that warns viewers the series is designed “to entertain and inform – not provide medical advice”.

 

The Goop Lab is the televisual manifestation of the Hollywood superstar’s wellness and lifestyle brand, a (so far) six-part documentary that explores treatments and therapies that most would consider “too out there” to try.

 

Paltrow first launched Goop as a newsletter from her kitchen in 2008, its name inspired by her initials, and, depending on which interview you read, the fact that she was told successful internet companies all come with double Os; or that she just wanted “a word that means nothing and could mean anything”. Goop might mean nothing, but it’s certainly worth a whole lot more—around $400 million as of 2018 according to one insider estimate—not bad for a company christened “the most controversial brand in the wellness industry” by The New York Times. It now has its own clothing line, skin- and healthcare supplements and advocates on everything from food to foreplay to fashion.

 

Even her most ardent fans must realise Paltrow almost asks to be mocked—kinder critics might call her ‘quirkily earnest’, harsher commentators consider her pretentious and utterly detached from reality. She certainly doesn’t do herself any favours with zingers like, “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year” or referring to her split from husband Chris Martin of Coldplay as “conscious uncoupling”.

 

Then there’s the Goop ‘science’ and product range. In 2015, medical experts queued up to debunk the brand’s advice that vaginal steaming, or ‘V-Steams’, not only cleaned women’s private parts but even helped rebalance their hormones, while Goop’s magical vaginally-inserted jade eggs, with claims of improving orgasms and general “feminine energy”, led to a $230,000 lawsuit. Another notorious Goop column saw a “naturopathic physician and homeopath” recommend consuming nothing but goats’ milk for eight days straight to get rid of parasites. Such outrageous claims led to non-profit group Truth in Advertising publicly pointing out dozens of “illegal” and “deceptive” health claims on the Goop website. Paltrow hit back against Goop’s “unfair” criticism as its purpose is to inform, not instruct—echoes of that disclaimer—though she did then employ an in-house fact checker, so she told the Times.

 

Paltrow sure knows how to court controversy through Goop, aware that nothing better generates both online traffic and revenue. Remember those candles-that-smell-like-a-vagina? They sold out in no time. Elton John alone bought 100! Paltrow later pointed out the provocative name was supposed to be a joke, a “punk rock statement”, though most would (correctly) argue that a $120 candle is the very antithesis of The Clash or the Sex Pistols.

 

So, it’s little wonder that a simple trailer for The Goop Lab has 2,300 likes on YouTube, versus 26,000 thumbs down, or that critics were sharpening their claws, daggers and pencils before the show had even streamed, lamenting the mass-marketing of such “pseudoscience”. “The backlash by health-care professional and science advocates was immediate and widespread. And for good reason…the trailer is classic Goop,” writes Timothy Caulfield for The Conversation, before quoting obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Jen Gunter in Bustle magazine: “Some fine information presented alongside unscientific, unproven, potentially harmful therapies…”

 

The episodes see the Goop gang go looking for alternative treatments to enhance both physical and mental wellbeing, including enlisting the services of psychics, sex therapists and psychedelic drugs. There are some genuinely moving moments, some genuinely amusing ones, and some that are downright weird—witnessing a woman (not a Goop staffer) climax as part of a sex workshop while others watch on is a standout oddball scene.

 

The episode involving energy healing workshops is a highlight of the series, not because of any medical merit, but the sight of the women writhing around as if they’re being violently exorcised, while rarely—and even then, barely—being touched, is excruciatingly absurd. “It’s a very energetic experience,” deadpans Gwyneth without an ounce of self-awareness. “The first time he worked on me I pretty much cried the whole time.”

 

The ‘masturbation’ episode, however, also garnered universal praise, and rightly so, for its evisceration of common myths concerning the female anatomy and its highlighting of the paranoia that is leading to a massive rise in unnecessary labiaplasties because ladies are convinced that they are not ‘normal’ down there. I for one was astounded by some of the misconceptions (which I shared) and saddened by the shame so many seemingly experience when discussing the topic, let alone the embarrassment of examining their own vulvas in a mirror under a lamplight as others watch on (yup, they did that too).   

 

Other offerings are almost disappointing in their lack of controversial subject matter. There’s nothing new about the physical and wellness benefits of ice baths and meditation, while vampire facials have almost become mainstream—and all, incidentally, previously covered in Verve!   

 

Neither fans nor foes of Gwyneth Paltrow will likely change their opinion of her after watching The Goop Lab, but both will certainly be entertained, which, if the Oscar-winning-actor-cum-wellness-guru and her disclaimer are to be believed, is the whole point of the show anyway.

 

goop.com